Thursday, October 12, 2017

stalker girl

the new object of my affection 
makes the sound:
clunk clunk clunk thud oh fuuuuck

he broke his arm
red cast

it don't weigh him down
as he levitates 
the invariable landing on the bad arm

i like to watch him fly
i like to watch him fall the best
the inevitable grace of it
it should teach me 
but i'm wondering about 
the hollow of his neck
the turn of his ear
the silence of breath

we watch him across the parking lot
close enough to be creepy
too far to be called out on it

his speed and his gravity
they both appeal

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

gaze aversion

my son stares past us all
not meeting our eyes

he was born to the dead
their eyes were on me
even as i laboured
they clung to his new skin
like vernix
and he absorbed them

at my breast
he eats past fullness
but his eyes are on his dead
he has no time for us
with our meal plans and rotas
he is fixed on higher things

they are whispering 
world truths in his ears
and dangling fascination for him
the like of which i do not ken

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

women weeping

give me strength
i begged
the strength of a woman,
one tear of your mother's grace
her fortitude in the dust

that is strength enough for me

to sob, 
wail, cry in the dirt
and know i am not first 
nor last 
of women weeping 

give me strength

Friday, July 21, 2017

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

haiku for Jesus

is the redemption of this corrupt body
through your blood
or my ink?

Thursday, April 20, 2017

haiku for yehuda amichai

what's the difference
between a poem of jerusalem
and a love poem?

Friday, April 14, 2017

the judgement

i wrap myself in the tatters of my spirit
and go uncovered before the assembly 
a harlot revealed in the presence of the elders
face black with the ashes of run kohl
are these the tears of shame or devastation?

"these are your sins
fornication & licentiousness 
adultery in heart and mind

you have burned yeast and honey
baked cakes to the lady
drunk the blood of beasts

you have laid, 
not only with husbands 
but with the lepers
and are known to kiss their sores

you have touched the red kite
and the cormorant 
the horned owl you have buried
and it flew again

your adulteries steeped 
in the blood of your womb
and you lay before gods 
of your own devising

you steal and lie 
in polyester dresses
and adorn your skin with ink
black as your own heart

furthermore, this a holy day
and still your heart seeks revenge
like water in the desert"

these are the sins,
and this is the judgement:

that by my filthied hands
the one i love is put to death

i cast the first stone and the last
from impure look to unclean deed
and by my stones is true love beaten down
inch by gasping bloody inch

Sunday, March 19, 2017


now and again
i shave my legs
blade scraping off
layers of skin
til i bleed

hair and soap
remorse and blood
swirling down the drain

as if to say
one day it will be spring

Friday, March 17, 2017

the only worth all granting

i cannot conceive
the empty grave
when yours lies
full as my womb
with the child
bearing your name

God lives in
secret parts of me
no longer touched

come home
fuck up my shopping list
let me eat smooth
organic peanut butter
and deli counter olives
drink your sloppy
salt water kisses

fuck up our bed

maybe then we'll talk
maybe then
we'll touch on
God and me

Sunday, March 12, 2017

staying in bed on lent ii

a meditation on things continuously fucked up

the moon was full last night
my daughter's blood boiled
she paced the hallways, frantic
i trailed behind her,
mumbling about hot milk

i sat up, waiting out her moon madness
revisiting old wounds, i stuck my fingers in
the agonies in my own side and hands
truly, this happened, and i lived?

she fell asleep around seven
i didn't have the heart to wake her

in the morning she dreams
i sit in bed, and ought to sit in church

between one sunday and the next
my sins pile up like the bottle deposits
overflowing their bin in the kitchen
they spill across counters and shelves
they lay forlorn by the door
waiting their chance on redemption

how can i repent and be new
drink the blood and eat the flesh
lie in my lover's arms and in his bed
when i can't even seem to get out of mine?

Sunday, March 5, 2017

this desert my heart

he looks at me like someone
who remembers the last time 
we went to bed
like really went to bed

and i can almost not take it
the way his eyes stick
dragging over my breasts
my thighs
my lips
so heavy
it leaves me slick 

dissanta beshemen g'viyati 
but do i spill over?
i am a vessel contained.

he remembers other days,
as he knows them all
when only saying my name
would spread me out like the sky

he remembers when i screamed his name
but now in this wilderness
my tongue has lost the vowels

i am reduced to consonantal silence
i tear about in the gale 
neither going nor coming

rutzeh ahuvi l'hatzileni 
ahuvi l'ezrati khushah 

my rebellion is my own
ha'midbar ha'zeh 
hu ha'lev sheli

Thursday, March 2, 2017


i am my father's daughter
and my husband's widow
i hit the bottle
and i hit the trail

lies men tell

it's the idea of us they love
wedding themselves to a notion
the girl with the red lipstick
the dancer, the harlot, the grieving
men display their lust like peacock feathers
all a show for our attention

they would rather describe us than fuck us
getting off on our imagined virtues
while we read in bed alone