Thursday, October 13, 2011

The 99%

My words are on strike.
They say they will not longer express me.
You're too convoluted, they say.
Too complex and too bittersweet.
Say something nice, they say.
Something simple but resonant.
They say they are the 99%.
They are dissatisfied with this administration.
They would rather scrawl slogans in sharpie
and wave them at passersby
then involve themselves with art.
You're being a romantic again, they say.
There's no time for that in this economy.

6 comments:

  1. I like the idea behind this very much. Not sure what the other 1% is doing though. Was that so you had enough words left to write this poem?

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  2. Hi Mar! If I understand Jim's comment I may be with him a bit on this one. I love the first few lines & I think the last lines work quite well too. I wonder if you may be trying a bit too many things at once in the middle, but that's just an observation. The language & syntax are both very well handled!

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  3. Found you through, Mairi and John. Really like your ideas and will be around for more.

    Kat

    (katspalaver.wordpress.com)

    I can't seem to comment through WP, so will have to use my Google id, but don't look for my blogs there.

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  4. Hey guys, thanks for reading!

    John + Jim - It was 99% not per se so I'd have enough words to write the poem but because the words were showing solidarity with the Occupy Wall Street movement, hence the middle lines. It could definitely be more elegant - ideas?


    Kat - Thanks - I'll be sure to check out your blog. = )

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  5. How about 'Picket Line' for a title? I suspected that '99%' was a nod to what's happening in the world right now but in a month no one will make the connection and in a couple of years you probably won't remember either.

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  6. Hi Mar: Although I may be a little more optimistic about the shelf life of the "occupy/99%" movement than Jim, I would agree that the 99% reference seems a bit grafted on & the thinking about a picket line of words might be a great way to find a connection from the wonderful beginning to the solid end. Good luck! Your poems come from a solid center, I believe & sometimes it just takes time to connect with that consistently :)

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